Shattering...

Really shattered.

Brought my younger girl to see the psychiatrist and we were told to fetch her back from school instead of letting her go back home on her own.

My guess is, because my girl had mentioned on quite a number of occasions that she is dying or wanting/feeling like dying, that's why we were requested to fetch her as he's afraid that by going home on her own may give her the chance to do some silly things such as committing suicide if she's thinking of doing so. So by fetching her back will help to prevent this from happening.

................

Why are there so many problems and troubles in our family (or house?) All one after another, then in sets and strings of it...haizz.

Just now my girl cried heart-breakingly that she is very upset and stressed, and that she didn't know what to do anymore. Her school mates and classmates teased her, misunderstood and wronged her again. Although she had tried to explain herself for those misunderstanding/wronged issues, they simply refuse to listen and continued teasing and saying her. Even her teachers have also wronged or misunderstood her at times and she was even scolded too.

She is really very stressful and is becoming more and more negative. I am very worried and scared as I can see some shadows of mine in her now. I do not want her to follow my 'footsteps'.

Sometimes I've been wondering why her destiny is almost the same as mine - so 'pai mia' type. Why ppl always like to bully and wrong/misunderstand us although we are always sincere, kind and helpful towards ppl?

Same like my younger girl, I was a timid girl too. We dare not speak up for ourselves when we are being bullied or wronged by ppl. Like last night, my girl had waited for about an hour or more for her turn to play the xbox in a shopping mall. The boy who was playing when she Q there did not pass the controller to her but to another boy who was behind my girl's Q. So this goes on. All of them passed the controller to others but not my girl and she just kept quiet, daren't ask for it although it was her turn long ago! This wasn't the first time. It had happened many times already. Haizz.

What can I say or do? We have done what we could and should and as for our children, we have advised and taught them what ever we can and know.

I also know it wouldn't be 100% fate (if destined to be so) if we try to do something about it. We CAN change it, although not fully, but at least better. But...

Now our family is like a house slowly losing it's column that's supporting the structure of a house. I feel like it's going to collapse anytime soon....REAL SOON...

I just pray hard that my girl will not do anything silly. I 'threatened' her that we really love her so much that we cannot afford to lose her. But if she's really dying, we will follow next and leave her baby brother all alone in this world without anyone to care for and look after him. She said :"NO, CANNOT!" Then I replied,"Or may be I'll bring him along too...". She said no again and I think this works (I thought so and hope so) as she loves her baby brother a lot.

Hope her baby brother can be part of a power source for her to live on and brace up. Haizz...